Things that make you go 'wtf.'

Did you know...

...that Kevin James is a huge celebrity in Germany? They LOVE him, apparently. They marketed 'Hitch' as a Kevin James vehicle, and made a whole buncha escarole. 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' was a huge hit, too. 

This concludes your daily mindfuck.

Big News.

I got a job at Anthropologie! And I found out that I get a completely bomb-ass employee discount at any of the stores that fall under the umbrella of their parent company, URBN, including: Anthropologie, Free People, and the one I'm crazytown redonkulous giddyface about: Urban Outfitters.

So on this episode of Kate Blogs, I present: things I would buy if I wasn't a) behind on my rent, b) hopelessly broke, or c) if I could fit into it:

Silence & Noise Corsetry Bra, $28

This is perfect. I die (thanks, Rachel Zoe. P.S, miss you on Bravo).

'Cool, Casual' by Slow & Steady Wins the Race Colorblock Convertible Tank Dress, $88.

I would wear this so hard, no lie. You can fold this damn thing up into a double-layer tank top (scoopneck over racerback) or unfold it into a maxi dress. The strings at my ankles would be endlessly obnoxious, but we'd work through that. Because we're a FAMILY.

Colorblock Ruffle Dress, $88

There are no words. The most difficult part would be deciding whether to get this one, or the

other color combination:

I like this one better. I rest my case ::pounds gavel::

Mirror/Dash Zip Front Dress, $59.99 (sale)

This totally feeds my jumper obsession. I won't even talk to you about rompers...

(I lied, yes I will. All my favorite rompers have come from thrift stores, and most have been floral-print Express from the mid-90's. I refuse to ever buy a full price romper. I love them so, but they are VERY hard to do your bidness in. 'Specially at bars, youpickinupwhati'mputtindown?).

Silence & Noise Oversize Hoodie, $29.99 (sale)

::Turns into Veruca Salt:: I WANT IT NOW.

...And now shoes ::unf unf unf::

Sweet Life by Dolce Vita Lace Heel, $128

Oh, what's that? Sorry, I was on the floor drooling.

PLV by Pour la Victoire Studded Sandal, $178

If I don't own/DIY something similar to this by the middle of summer, I will be inconsolable.

Okay so, bottom line and end of materialistic dream post: since I (at least 98%) will have a roommate living with me for the next year, and rent will be somewhat slightly diminished, you better effing believe that I'll be acquiring some similar pieces in the months to come. After all, what's a perk if you don't use it, right? Right?

seriously?

While spending time probably alloted for something else on the internet instead, i came across this:

I mean, really? Most Americans get this wrong? Really? Are you trying to tell me something, cute little polar bear? Initially, I was like, 'well duh, it's a friggin polar bear,' but now you are making me doubt myself. I don't appreciate that.

I guess I shouldn't really be so surprised / indignant.

This one made me straight-out lol, though:

Now you are just insulting me. Obviously it is BOTH.

anagram-bot.

sitting on the computer at mom's house, decided to have the interwebs anagram my name. laughter and a bit of confusion ensue:

Nakedly Let On

Tonally Kneed

Yanked Tell No

Tanked Yell No

Ladle Ken Tony

Lad Kneel Tony

Lank Needy Lot

and my personal favorite:

Tanked Lonely.

you're welcome.

i married the eiffel tower

http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/guess-what-objectum-sexuals-love/

i just stumbled across this documentary about something i never knew existed: objectum-sexuals. or, people who are in love with inanimate objects. it's called 'married to the eiffel tower,' and is at turns hysterical and horribly sad. all of the objectum-sexuals existing in the world are women, and they talk to buildings as if they are their lovers, building to-scale models of them to keep in their homes as well as even taking home parts of them to 'make love' with. as much as i want to laugh at this (and i did; trust me), it makes me more than a little sad to think that these women have rarely and sometimes never had a flesh-and-blood, loving relationship with another human. it made me wonder: is this something that is biologically ingrained, something that they can't help? or is it a reaction to a fear within them that any relationship that they have won't work?

i tend to think that it's the latter reason. these women seem to love these inanimate objects as much as any person loves their significant other. they want to have them (or a piece of them) close by, they seem to get something out of it, and let's face it: an inanimate object can never complain to you. but as much as i am an accepting person, and as much as i encourange anyone to do what will make them happy, i just can't understand it. it doesn't mean i disapprove, i just don't UNDERSTAND. how can you love an inanimate object? how can you marry the eiffel tower? how can you be intimate with the golden gate bridge, for fuck's sake?

i guess we'll never know. but nothing can beat a video of a woman who's in love with a banister. A BANISTER, PEOPLE.

another friday night.

favorite thing about last night?

i'll set the scene:

six friends sitting on the couch, watching 'the mighty boosh.' bollo the gorilla says, "i've got a bad feeling about this."

me: he's just like c-3po!
::silence::
adam: you are such a nerd. sometimes it suprises me.

there were also references to tontons and the planet hoth.

you're welcome.

2009, bitches.

so, 2008, i have a confession to make: i am not going to miss you. not one eensy bit. you pretty much sucked, if we're being honest. i'm breaking up with you. 2009 is just... well, it has everything i need. i'm not exactly sure what that is quite yet, but i know it's sucked a lot less so far than you, 2008. i'm deleting you from my phone and we're never speaking again.

*whew*

may 2009 bring as much happiness as it will debauchery.